why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
