how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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