your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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