Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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