TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
