Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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