did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
