She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
