Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
