I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
