What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
