God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
