my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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