i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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