Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
