you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
