what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
it was like eating out sand paper
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
