Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
