You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
