sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
