hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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