Is it normal to miss your booty call?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
3pm strippers are depressing
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
