Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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