Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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