I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
