Her vagina should come with caution tape.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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