what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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