Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
