I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
