Your face is a jimmy john
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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