we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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