so explain again why im purple
no
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
