he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
