I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize