a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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