my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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