Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
