Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY

(614): View more from Ohio

handstands? WTF?

(405): View more from Oklahoma

she was a gymnast

(614): View more from Ohio

go to hell.

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(405): I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY (614): handstands? WTF? (405): she was a gymnast (614): go to hell. http://tfl.nu/pyfe

Replies (9) Good night (3099) Bad night (721)
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(313): View more from Michigan

so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.

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(313): so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it. http://tfl.nu/rth5

Replies (1) Good night (2945) Bad night (637)
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(805): View more from California

My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.

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(805): My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family. http://tfl.nu/yv4f

Replies (29) Good night (5696) Bad night (858)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.

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(612): hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted. http://tfl.nu/g5t8

Replies (37) Good night (2892) Bad night (840)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."

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(401): We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this." http://tfl.nu/1p18

Replies (15) Good night (4147) Bad night (5029)
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(817): View more from Texas

At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.

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(817): At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children. http://tfl.nu/trxp

Replies (24) Good night (8219) Bad night (1316)
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(425): View more from Washington

I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.

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(425): I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up. http://tfl.nu/h9rh

Replies (18) Good night (3824) Bad night (1033)
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(514): View more from Quebec

I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels

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(514): I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels http://tfl.nu/u0pv

Replies (7) Good night (2979) Bad night (1104)
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(713): View more from Texas

he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"

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(713): he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses" http://tfl.nu/ra51

Replies (11) Good night (960) Bad night (1913)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl

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(225): We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl http://tfl.nu/f3ra

Replies (5) Good night (1011) Bad night (1455)
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(850): View more from Florida

No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview

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(850): No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview http://tfl.nu/suz9

Replies (5) Good night (1165) Bad night (556)
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(914): View more from New York

The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted

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(914): The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted http://tfl.nu/dd19

Replies (3) Good night (1555) Bad night (492)
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(914): View more from New York

Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.

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(914): Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade. http://tfl.nu/3ila

Replies (3) Good night (1403) Bad night (483)
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(619): View more from California

Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.

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(619): Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it. http://tfl.nu/xm8c

Replies (8) Good night (2116) Bad night (557)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell

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(306): I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell http://tfl.nu/ue80

Replies (8) Good night (781) Bad night (333)

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