they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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