Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.