Texts From Last Night

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  (906): View more from Michigan

  last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that

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  (906): last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that http://tfl.nu/8upf
  Replies (16) Good night (1703) Bad night (5404)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.

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  (514): i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/xhhe
  Replies (25) Good night (976) Bad night (6201)
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  (510): View more from California

  I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.

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  (510): I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots. http://tfl.nu/tjxa
  Replies (1) Good night (834) Bad night (2701)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Just the budget?

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  (515): I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget... (316): Just the budget? http://tfl.nu/v45e
  Replies (4) Good night (4430) Bad night (945)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.

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  (704): Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out. http://tfl.nu/zs8i
  Replies (8) Good night (2175) Bad night (882)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.

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  (609): I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens. http://tfl.nu/uou3
  Replies (8) Good night (2414) Bad night (1247)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss

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  (506): i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss http://tfl.nu/l8g6
  Replies (8) Good night (601) Bad night (2807)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent

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  (636): Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent http://tfl.nu/1tsa
  Replies (12) Good night (1944) Bad night (690)
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  (+33): View more from France

  So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?

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  (+33): So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts? http://tfl.nu/237o
  Replies (14) Good night (3055) Bad night (449)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.

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  (330): I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out. http://tfl.nu/zfn4
  Replies (2) Good night (1289) Bad night (395)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month

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  (517): well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month http://tfl.nu/fhen
  Replies (5) Good night (586) Bad night (1532)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.

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  (773): Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app. http://tfl.nu/h2ht
  Replies (1) Good night (1145) Bad night (339)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.

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  (705): The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me. http://tfl.nu/d1xs
  Replies (4) Good night (895) Bad night (332)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.

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  (405): I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level. http://tfl.nu/exjq
  Replies (0) Good night (388) Bad night (195)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.

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  (256): It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration. http://tfl.nu/toyt
  Replies (0) Good night (733) Bad night (167)

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