I want you more than these girls want KFC
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
