I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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