My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize