I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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