I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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