well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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