I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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