can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
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So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
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Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Ladies don't puke and tell
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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