Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
