try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
