just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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