im having a threesome with these popsicles
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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