...so i touched it.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
