Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
