When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
