i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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