return my video game
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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