Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
