textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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