I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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