Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
